Jerry's Cup of Tea
by SoloTaker
Summary: Jerry is depressed... can Kanda help him? And why the hell would that make Kanda cry? And how on Earth does this involve the whole of the Balck Order? No pairings, cos Kanda's all mine. Plz don't flame me, it's my first...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer = I do not own D. Gray Man or any of the characters in this story. They belong to Katsura Hoshino. Please don't sue me!!!

Pairings = None

Rated M for Language (courtesy of Kanda)

Jerry's Cup of Tea

Chapter 1 – Kanda is scared

Jerry was bored. Everyday was the same. He got up early, made mountains of food for the Black Order people, cleaned up after them and then went back to bed. Everyday since he started working here it was the same. What he really wanted to do was not cook billions of kilos of food (mostly for Allen ^^), what he really wanted to do…

Was to go to a tea party.

That was what he really wanted to do. He wanted to dress up and drink little cups of tea and eat little biscuits, surrounded by the elite and the beautiful, chatting and gossiping about new dresses and wether or not they looked fat. But in the black order, there was no one that threw tea parties like that.

He sighed, making soba for the young (and moody) samurai. Kanda, with his amazing hearing ability, heard him sigh.

"What's wrong with you, you pink haired baka?" He asked, quite rudely.

"Nothing, don't worry." Jerry replied looking extremely depressed.

"Don't give me that shit! I know something is wrong with you!" Kanda replied, angry. Jerry probably thought that he was stupid and couldn't notice that something was wrong. An anger mark appeared on his cheek. Jerry yelped and took cover underneath his bench. This made Kanda even angrier and he stormed over to the counter and jumped over. He grabbed the chef by his collar. Thankfully there was no one else in the cafeteria.

"THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!! NOW DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT ABOUT ME NOT WORRYING!!!" Kanda roared at the chef.

Jerry looked shocked and then his face crumpled and he buried his face in the samurai's shoulder and started to sob.

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE RIGHT!!!! I'M SUCH A FAILURE!!!" Jerry wailed.

Kanda was scared. He was never scared; he could face Noahs and akumas without flinching. But this was something different. He had always seen Jerry with a big smile. He was always happy.

"Ummm… what's wrong?" Kanda asked temptively. He wanted to run away. But he felt like he owned the chef. Hadn't he always made his favourite food three times a day? Hadn't he made it so perfectly good? Kanda had to do something to make Jerry better.

"I DON'T WANT TO COOK ANYMORE!!" Jerry cried.

Somewhere above them, Allen suddenly felt like fainting. He didn't know why.

Kanda was shocked. He couldn't let this happen. If he did, Komui would probably make someone like Lavi cook, and then… Kanda shuddered at the thought.

"Look…" He took a deep breath. "Why don't you want to cook anymore?"

Jerry snivelled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He took a deep breath.

"It's not what I want to do anymore. In the beginning, I thought that this place would be different. I thought that there would be some people who could understand!!!"

"Understand what?" Kanda was seriously confused.

"That… that… THAT I WANT TO GO TO A TEA PARTY!!"

**Solo: I was sick so I stayed at home. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my first fanfiction ever!**

**I hope I kept Kanda in character.**

**Kanda: Why the fuck would I ever help anyone?**

**Solo: Cos I'm making you and cos I'm writing this story.**

**Kanda: I'll cut you with my mugen!!**

**Solo: Shut up or next chapter I'll make you dance in a ballet.**

**Kanda: OMG!!! WHAT!!!! YOU ARE EVIL!**

**Solo (evil grin): Right. So now you behave and go and help Jerry!**

**Kanda: Grumblegrublebakagrumblecutyoudowngrumblegrumblemugen**

**Solo: I'm sorry, what was that? You want to dance in a ballet?**

**Kanda runs away in fear.**

**Solo: Excellent (Mr. Burns imitation)**

**I don't own the Simpsons either.**


	2. Chapter 2

Jerry's Cup of Tea

Chapter 2 – Pretty Please

Jerry was still sniffling. He was sitting down on the floor, at Kanda's feet. Kanda had frozen in shock. Had the pink haired chef really said what he thought he said? He said he wanted to go to… a tea party?

He just stood there in shock. He didn't really know what to do. He knew that when Jerry said something, he meant it. Like the time when Komui's robot had destroyed a lot of the inside on the black order and Jerry had been made to clean up. He refused to serve anyone breakfast (Allen almost died).

Rather than face an eternity of Lavi's cooking, Kanda said something he would never have to anyone else for any reason.

"If you don't quit… I'll…throw a tea party…"Kanda managed to gasp out, utterly revolted by his own words.

Jerry changed from being a miserable lump to a bright shining beacon of happiness. He was bouncing off the walls (no not really) and cheering.

"REALLY!!! Oh Kanda! You have no idea how happy you've made me!" Jerry gushed.

Kanda's POV

Kanda got up and left the cafeteria. He suddenly realised what he had just said. He had just said… that he would throw a FUCKING TEA PARTY FOR THAT FUCKING PINK HAIRED BAKA!!!! Kanda's rage started to build up inside him. He wanted to kick himself and settled for kicking the finder that passed him. The finder gasped and ran as far as he could from the VERY angry samurai.

What the hell was he thinking!!! Offering to throw that baka a tea party! But then Kanda remembered. The fate of his soba lay in his hands. He would not subject himself to disgusting food for the rest of his life at the black order.

That was when he realised he had no idea how to throw a tea party.

Kanda sat down, he was somewhere between the men's bathroom and the library. He had no idea why he was here. He was near Lenalee's room. LENALEE!! She could help him! She was a girl; she probably knew how to do this type of thing. He ran as fast as he could to her room and started banging on the door, not caring that it was 6 am and that she was probably asleep.

A very sleepy Lenalee opened the door and she seemed shocked that Kanda was standing there, puffed and looking very anxious.

"What's wrong Kanda?" Lenalee asked cautiously.

"It's Jerry!! He's crazy! He threatened to leave the order if he doesn't go to a fucking tea party!!! So I told him that I would throw him a tea party, but I don't want to and I don't know how to bloody throw a bloody tea party!!!" Kanda was in a state. He was always emotionless in front of Lenalee. He never lost his temper with her. Kanda was flapping his arms in distress, as if he was drowning.

Lenalee just stared at him.

"I don't know what to do! What the hell!!! Please help me!!"

Lenalee just stared at him.

"Stop staring at me!!!"

Lenalee shook herself out of the shock.

All the commotion had attracted the attention of Miranda and Lavi who were passing by. As they approached the sound of somebody panicking, they were shocked to see that Kanda was almost crying (author's note: Now that is a sight I wanna see!! ;) ^^) and Lenalee, who was in her pyjamas, trying to calm him down.

They approached the two cautiously. Kanda was shouting about Jerry, tea parties, soba and Lavi's horrible cooking.

"HEY! My cooking is not that bad!" Lavi cried defensively.

Kanda turned around. He had tears in his eyes, and his face was a mixture of shock and distress.

"Are…are you ok, Kanda-san?" Miranda asked timidly.

"NO! IM NOT BLOODY OK!!!"

"EEEKKK!!! I'M SORRY!" Miranda shrieked.

"Ok…ok… let's calm down peoples. Now Kanda, take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong."

___________________________________________________________________________________

**Solo: **_**Yawwnnn…**_** I am so tired. Ho hum… this story is finally shaping up and I managed to put in something I always wanted to see… Kanda crying!!!**

**Kanda: I was not fucking crying!**

**Solo: You were crying!**

**Kanda: Was not!!**

**Solo pulls out a pink tutu.**

**Kanda starts crying again. **

**Solo: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! SO CUTE!!!**

**Solo grabs Kanda and gives him a big kiss!**

**Kanda: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!!**

**Solo: Heehehee… Since I'm not in the real D. Gray Man story I'm gonna kiss you now.**

**Solo tackles Kanda to the ground.**

**Solo (to readers): Ok… now go away!!**

**Due to the fact that the author has dragged a screaming Kanda into her room, this chapter is now over. ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Solo: Right… well… I'm sorry for my lack of self-control. Must be the fever…**

**Kanda: …oh my god… I feel so violated…**

**Solo: *coughs* anyway, on with the show… I mean story…**

Jerry's Cup of Tea

Chapter 3 – The Idea

"Oh my God in Heaven… you actually said that? …What were you smoking?" Lavi exclaimed.

"I don't know!! I just… didn't want Jerry to leave because it would probably be you that would take over the cooking… and… your cooking sucks!!" Kanda cried.

Lavi glowered at him before cracking into a grin.

"So you invited him to a tea party."

"…"

"Ummm… Kanda-Sama (because she's so polite), we'll help you…" Miranda said.

Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda looked at her, she blushed and said:

"I'M SORRY!!! THAT WAS A STUPID IDEA!!"

"NO!! WHAT A GREAT IDEA!" Kanda shouted before (uncharacteristically) hugging all three of them (author's note: he was that scared) "By the way, don't tell anyone else, otherwise I'll cut you in two with my mugen!" (Because we don't want Kanda too much out of character, do we?)

And so, that is how Lavi, Lenalee and Miranda had to help Kanda.

"Put the flowers over there." Lenalee directed to Lavi, who was carrying a huge vase of daffodils.

Miranda was trying (and failing) at putting napkins on the plates. She was supposed to fold them so they made a pretty curve, but as usual, she failed. Kanda took the napkin from her hands and folded it for her, than told her to get dressed. Feeling unuseful, Miranda left the room.

After getting dressed, Miranda went back to the room. She ran into Krory. She bowed to him and hurried away. Krory was surprised. Having only been around Eliade, he never had much of a chance to look at other girls (and…let's face it…who would look at other girls around Eliade). Miranda looked very pretty. Krory, finally feeling some bravery, called after her.

"Miss Miranda! Miss Miranda!!! Why are you dressed up? Are you having a party?"

Not wanting to hurt Krory by telling him he was not invited, she said:

"Oh…yes we are. A tea party. Ummm… you're invited too…It's at two o'clock, in Lenalee's room"

And with that, she ran away.

Krory was excited. He loved tea parties. He and Eliade would always have one every Sunday.

He ran back to his room to get ready. As he ran around the corner, he smashed into Reever and Komui. He apologized and pulled them up before running again. He shouted over his shoulder:

"I'm sorry! I've got to go!! There's a tea party in Lenalee's room at two o'clock!"

"A tea party? In Lenalee's room?" Komui cried. "Why wasn't I invited? Maybe she was going to tell me later. I'm going to get dressed. Are you coming too?"

"Yeah sure…" The Australian replied.

Reever went back down to the Science department where he shouted:

"There's a tea party in Lenalee's room!"

All the scientists and geeks cheered. They loved tea parties, they loved Lenalee and they were bored of work. They all ran back to their rooms to get dressed.

Johnny, from the science department, while trying to get to his room, ran into General Cross, General Zokalo and General Cloudnyne. He shrieked and tried to run the other way. General Cross grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back.

"What are you running for?" Cross snapped.

"There…there…there's a party… in …in Lenalee's room…" Johnny stuttered.

Cross let go of him. Johnny ran as fast as e could, taking the longest route back to his room.

**Solo: Phewww!! Another Chapter done!!!**

**Lavi: Why isn't Kanda here?**

**Solo: …**

**Lavi: Did you do something to him?**

**Solo: … (Pounces on Lavi)**

**Lavi: UWAAAAAHHHHH!!!!**

**Solo: Shut up!!!**

**Due to the author dragging another D. Gray Man character to her room… this chapter is also over…**


	4. Chapter 4

Solo: Well… welcome to another chapter of Jerry's Cup of Tea. As I have said plenty of times, I'm sick today, and I'm bored, so that's why I'm writing so many chapters.

I would like to apologize to the readers for my lack of manners (aka the incident with Kanda and Lavi). As I have said before, it must be the fever.

Kanda: What about apologizing to us?

Lavi: Yeah!!

Solo: …no

Jerry's Cup of Tea

Chapter 4 – Big Mistake

General Cross started thinking (yea I know, out of character). A party in Lenalee's room? That meant one thing…

Meanwhile…

Miranda came back to the room. She was worried about having told Krory about the party, but then decided that it would be ok. One more exorcist would not harm anyone. So she went back to folding (and failing) napkins.

One the other side of the Black Order Headquarters, Allen was trying to hide from his master. Timcampy was acting as watch. He was stuck in a cupboard. He had intended to stay there till his master left in half an hour.

Suddenly he felt the cupboard being pulled open and fell out. He looked up and to his horror, saw his master glaring down at him.

"Oy, idiot disciple! Guess what? There's a party in Lenalee's room. That means one thing. Booze and women."

"Don't you ever think of anything else, you perverted master? Besides, didn't you think that Komui will kill you if you ever go near his Lenalee?"

"…"

"Well?" Asked Allen.

"I didn't think about that."

Allen got on his feet.

"How did you know I was here anyway?"

"Timcampy showed me." Cross replied, still thinking about his little dilemma.

Allen glared at the treacherous golem. Then he turned around and ran away, as fast as he could, grabbing Timcampy along the way.

Solo: What a short chapter!

Cross: Hey, who are you?

Solo: Why, I'm the author of this story (which, I just realised, sucks)

Cross: You're not that bad looking you know? And, I heard that you like D. Gray Man characters. How about getting off with me?

Solo: … no… anyways… Will anybody review my story and please give me your honest opinion. I need to know if the characters are too different from their original one (from D. Gray Man, owned by Katsura Hoshino). Also, I need to know if my story should be stopped and flushed (by that I mean stopped and destroyed.). Let me know, kk?

Cross: I mean it… (Jumps on Solo)

Solo gives massive high kick in Cross's face and he crumples to the ground, seemingly defeated.

Solo: You know what, I like only the main characters, which means, WHERE IS ALLEN?

Somewhere far away, Allen sneezed and fainted.


	5. Chapter 5

**Solo: When is this story going to end?? I keep writing and writing and it doesn't seem to get anywhere. Thank-you mimicsmaze for your comments (oh dear, I hope I spelt your name right). I will stop making Kanda so weird.**

**Kanda: Damn right!**

**Solo: HEEHEE!! Want some more?**

**Kanda: EEEEEEEEKK!!! (Runs away)**

**Solo: Great imitation of Miranda. It seems no matter how much I try I can never make Kanda normal (as normal as he can be). Anywayz, back to my thrilling story. **

Jerry's Cup of Tea

Chapter 5 – OMG

In Lenalee's room, the preparations were finished. The room looked absolutely gorgeous. Lenalee and Lavi smiled at their efforts. Kanda scowled at the plate of cucumber sandwiches he had to trim (the crust that is). Miranda sat in her corner.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"It's Jerry!!" Lenalee exclaimed.

She opened the door.

Suddenly a wave of scientists, exorcists, finders and generals flooded in. Some of them sat down drinking tea. Others were chatting. The generals were dancing to an imaginary tune.

Kanda, Lenalee and Lavi all stared. Then they turned around to look at Miranda.

"Miranda… what did you do?"

"Nothing!! I just said to Krory that there was a tea party here, because I was all dressed up and I didn't want to be mean." Miranda gasped.

"And I told Komui and Reever when I smashed into them." Krory said. He was wearing a tuxedo.

"I told the scientists in the department." Reever said. He was wearing a dress shirt and pants.

"And… I told the generals…because they're scary and they were threatening me." Johnny said. He was wearing a quilt. (Cos I want him to wear a quilt)

The generals were dressed up too.

"So it's not a party with booze and women?" Cross asked.

"Certainly not" Lenalee exclaimed "It's a tea party for Jerry because he was going to quit the order if he didn't go to one. And now you've ruined it."

"Oh…" Was what everyone said.

"So you'd better piss off," A very angry Kanda said.

Just then Jerry walked in. His eyes widened at the sight. Everyone was dressed up. They were all drinking tea and chatting. And the room! It was gorgeous, just like in his dreams. He felt so happy.

Everyone watched him, as his grin grew wider. He was giggling and clapping his hands. Everyone took it as a good sign and went on eating, chatting and dancing to an imaginary tune (the generals).

And they all had a good time.

But what about Allen?

On the other side of the Black Order, Allen was being dragged screaming into the author's room.

**Solo: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! OVER!!! I'm sorry for that very crappy ending. I have to go, cos I got myself a snack. Beansprouts!**

**Allen: HELP ME!!!!**

**Solo: Muhuahahahahaahh!!!**

**Merry Christmas!!!**


End file.
